How The Nelvana Bear Joined The Stars
by That-isa-secret
Summary: Have you ever noticed that Nelvana bear at the end of the credits of Sailor Moon and CardCaptors? This is the story of how he "joined" the stars. Contains 100 percent dark Humor, so beware. Xover with CC's.


All right, people. Remember the old school English dubbing of Sailor Moon? And CardCaptors too? CardCaptors. Not Card Captor Sakura. Well, that bear sucked from the Nelvana company. After the credits they would show that stupid bear putting his head up and stars would shine around him. All right. Get it? Good.  
  
DISCLAIMERS: We don't own any of this shit and we are proud of it. I.E. Nelvana, Sailor Moon, CardCaptors.  
  
This story was taken place in outer space. Hey, that rhymes! Anyway, they were going to shoot the Nelvana scene when the bear moves his head up and the stars come in and shine up the scene. But there is one question. Where the hell did the bear come from?  
Hmm. This takes a lot of thought. Obviously, the cast of sailor moon didn't put them up there. But then again, they may have, since they have the power to go in to outer space. Don't ask me how they do it. It is the retarded creators fault. (I admit I was an uber fan of sailor moon in 4th grade, so shut up.)  
As one may know, the dubbing of Sailor Moon and CardCaptors sucked ass. You heard me! SUCKED ASS! Sailor Moon/Serena sounds like a complete retard. The fighting scenes were done poorly. There was barely any anticipation when one hits the other. And even though the costumes don't even conceal their identities, the people in the show were sure dumb Asses for not knowing the god damn difference. Any moron would know the difference. Hell, even a monkey can! Maybe even a piece of cheese.  
All right, enough rambling about how gay Sailor Moon is. Let's get onto the scene with the bear!  
We got the cameras ready, and the crew is around the area. Don't ask me how they got up in space. This is MY story and I can do WHATEVER I want!  
"Everyone ready in position!" shouted the director.  
As he said that, the crew that no one cares about saw two characters walk on to the stage.  
"Hey," said one of the crewmembers. "You're not allowed to be up here!"  
"Shut up dork!" said the short haired girl. "I am one of the actors that Nelvana shoots, so let me the Fck in!" She held up a big bazooka to his head.  
"Alright, alright!" he said putting up his hands. "Go in already!"  
The tall dumb blonde, and the shorthaired girl walked passed by the crewmember.  
"Bitch," was a mutter heard.  
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!" shouted the dumb blonde.  
"N-"BANG!!  
"Too late sucka!" shouted the sailor scout.  
"You're such a dumb ass. No one says sucka anymore."  
"That's why I'm cool, now let's go!" said the dumb blonde.  
So they walk in and see everyone ready.  
"There he is," whispered the little card captor. "There's that bastard that turned our show in to a pile of shit!"  
"Let's get him!"  
The shorthaired girl nods.  
"LIGHTS!"  
They start walking up with quick speed.  
"CAMERA!"  
The other crew notices them, and then hides behind the walls.  
"ACT-"  
POW!  
"DIE STUPID SON OF A BITCH BEAR!!! DIIIIIIIE!!!!"  
"GNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!" shouts the bear, lifting his head up while blood was gushing out of his body.  
"THANKS A LOT FOR MAKING OUR SHOW A LAUGHING STOCK OF THE ANIME WORLD! WE WERE WELL RESPECTED WITH RANMA AND DRAGONBALL Z, AND NOW YOU RUINED IT!? DIIIIIIIIE!!" Shouted Sailor Moon with great anger.  
Sakura and Sailor Moon started shooting their weapons randomly around the room, killing almost all of the crew. Except those who tell the tale, LIKE ME!  
"Alright!" shouted sailor moon after ALMOST everyone was dead. "You're gonna die stupid bear, whether you like it or not!"  
"GNAAAAAAAH!!!"  
"So Sakura, how should we kill him? Decapitation? Cubing?"  
"Drowning in an inch of water?" suggested Sakura.  
"GENIOUS!"  
So they carried the shot down bear to the planet earth. Again, don't ask me how this is done. They were at a public swimming pool with a whole bunch of children around. They were at the three feet shallow water.  
"HEY KIDS!" shouted Sailor Moon. "DO YOU WANT TO SEE WHAT YOUR PARENTS TRY TO DO WHEN THEY MAKE YOU TAKE A BATH?!"  
All of the children looked up in bewilderment.  
"My mom always makes me take a bath," said a little boy to another little boy. "Now we'll understand what the reason is!"  
Sakura carried the bear into the water. Just as the bear was about to touch just a drop of water, Tuxedo Mask swoops down and carries the bear on his arms. Sailor Moon KNEW this was going to happen so she got out her magnums and shot directly at Tuxedo Masks' kneecaps.  
"AH SHIT!" shouted Tuxedo Mask and dropped the bear into the 12-foot area of the pool.  
"Kids!" shouted Sailor Moon. "Now watch from far away!"  
"It doesn't have to end this way!" shouted the bear ascending from the water.  
"Speak now bear or forever hold your peace!" shouted Sakura from a distance.  
"How about I change the music!"  
Sakura glared. "You BASTARD!" She jumped into the 12-foot pool and beat him on the head, while gagging him in the water.  
The children were gaping.  
"Holy crap," exclaimed one kid. "That's what our parents want to do to us?!"  
Sakura kept on gagging until she didn't hear anymore breathing from the bear, nor struggling might I add. Sakura smiled and got out of the pool.  
"Oh shit," gaped a three-year-old girl.  
"And that's why you should NEVER and I mean NEVER trust your parents!"  
All of the children nodded at the same time.  
"What's that," said the little boy, pointing to the pool that was now red.  
"Uh," said Tuxedo Mask.  
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU STILL DOING ALIVE!" exclaimed Sailor Moon.  
BANG! Sailor Moon shot tuxedo mask in the head with a shotgun.  
"That my kids, is KOOLAID!"  
"WEEEEE!" they all said.  
"I wanna drink it!"  
They all were about to jump in the pool, and then suddenly a special guest pops in.  
"OH YEEAAAAH!!!"  
BANG! Sakura shot him with a cannon, and red liquid came out of him.  
"What's that?" asked a little boy still in his diapers.  
"That is blood. Never drink it."  
"Hokay!"  
"Now everyone jump in the pool and drink all of the Koolade!"  
"YAY!" they all exclaimed and jumped in to the pool.  
One of the kids walked up to Sailor Moon.  
"What is the stuff on his body," he said pointing to Tuxedo Masks body.  
"KOOLADE! Now DRINK!"  
"Ok!" the boy started drinking. After a little while the boy said to sailor moon, "Uh, my stomach hurts."  
"That's from the Koolade. The sugar, uh, is, HELPING you! DRINK MORE BITC- I MEAN KID!"  
  
Because of Sailor Moon and CardCaptor Sakura's justified and cruel punishment, the bear was taken by Zeus and was put into the heavens in the form of stars, to serve as a warning for people who screw up subtitled Animes and make them horribly wrong, boring, knock offs for everything else, and which is for little kids.  
  
...Which I must add got HIV/AIDS from drinking the "Koolade" in the pool.  
  
TEH END! (Purposely done typo)  
  
Um, we hope you actually got humor from this like we did. And if you have a problem with it, we would have made this a whole lot worse. We really could have. There are cruel thoughts in our head. Really! Flame, review, I don't care. This story kicked ass and that's that! (Note: two people were making this fanfic) 


End file.
